Worst Job Applicants

I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.

I have learnt Word Perfect 6.0, computer and spreadsheet programs.

Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

It's best for employers that I not work with people.

I Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.

I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.

Personal interests: Donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.

Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.

Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job hopping. I have never quit a job.

Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Could not work under those conditions.

Finished eighth in my class of ten.