Funny Quotes

You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears.

Geri Jewell

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

Robert Frost

If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum.

George Muncaster

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

Ambrose Bierce

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

H.L. Mencken

Great Britain and the United States are nations separated by a common language.

George Bernard Shaw

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.