Humor Quotes

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air.

Jack Benny

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips.

Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.

Abe Lincoln

Learn what the magician knows and it's not magic anymore.

Richard Bach

You miss 100 per cent of the shots you never take.

Wayne Gretzky

If you want to spend your vacation in out-of-the-way places where few people go, let your wife read the map.

Jack Carter

If you don't laugh at yourself once in a while, others will.

Phil Simborg

Never put a razor up your nose--even as a joke.

Don't wait for a crisis to discover what is important in your life.

First rule of holes: when you're in one, stop digging.

If you want people to remember you, tell them something really interesting about them.

Phil Simborg

Don't look for heroes--be one!

Anthony Robbins

The easiest way to be the best is to be the only one of your kind.

Ashleigh Brilliant

Never resist a mad impulse to do something nice for me.

Ashleigh Brilliant

The pen is mightier than the sword. Yeah, right.