Humor Quotes

Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow.

Aesop

If the shoe fits, find the other one.

Never smell the inside of bowling shoes—especially someone else's.

Never sweat petty things; never pet sweaty things.

If it's on fire, don't lay down on it.

Rita Rudner

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

Next week, a doctor with a flashlight shows us where sales projections come from.

Dilbert

You don't need a $1000 meeting to solve a $100 problem.

Money makes money and the money money makes makes money.

The customer is not always right, but he's entitled to think he is.

Phil Simborg

The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets.

John D. Rockefeller

The person who writes the bank's commercials is not the person who makes the loans.

Never schedule a board meeting on Wednesday because it kills two weekends.

A committee of three can accomplish much if two don't show up.

Everybody wants to build but nobody wants to maintain.

Vonnegurt