Humor Quotes

Don't be too hard on yourself--people do far worse things--haven't you ever watched daytime T.V.?

Admiration is the purest form of jealousy.

Dan Simborg

I would like to start from scratch. Where is scratch?

Elias Canetti

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Fall down seven times, stand up eight.

Japanese proverb

"Good" is the enemy of "better."

Sarcasm is irritating and unsettling and should be used frequently.

Phil Simborg

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Try? There is no "try." There is only "do."

Yodi the Jedi

He tried for a corner on the market and now he has a market on the corner.

If you fail to plan, you're planning to fail.

I don't like money but it quiets my nerves.

Joe Lewis

Success is just another game, and only a fool takes any game too seriously.

Dr. Harold Bloomfield

If you want to do well, sell people what they need; if you want to get rich, sell people what they want.

Robert Ringer

I can not give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure: try to please everybody.